REVIEW: FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER

BY ADA JAZZY D

            The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer came out this week and it is not bad—if you take it for what it is.  There will be some spoilage.  FF is a family movie.  While X-Men is edgy and violent, and Spider-Man is adventurous and full of heart, FF is for the family unit, specifically for kids.  FF isn’t a great movie, like Spider-man one, but a great summer movie.  The geek wants it to go a certain way; to be like the comic book, but that’s just not going to happen.  FF is a family movie about Marvel’s first family.  Final verdict:  good enough.
                The legions of geekdom will sit in a dark theater hoping Dr. Doom will launch into a Victorian speech pattern or that Galactus will appear in his purple party hat.  Doesn’t happen, but FF does deliver a solid FF story with great interaction between the main characters.  FF is a cheerful group story, akin to a sitcom where the gang’s relationship is more important than the actual plot.  Sitting there among kids and parents one can hear the reaction.  They laugh at the Thing and Johnny’s quarrels.  They thrill at the superhuman battles.  When a main character appears to be in mortal danger a hushed, “oh, my god,” comes from the row behind you.  The family in the front row doesn’t care if the plot is rushed or if the villains are shadows of their comic book counterparts.  They see themselves on the screen; they see the family that is the Fantastic Four.  And, really, that’s what the FF has always been about.
                Here’s what good.  The Thing looks decent.  Doom gets into the armor.  Sue Storm is a vision, and Alba can actually act.  Silver Surfer is perfect.  The family infighting is good for geek and layman alike.  They go all over the world which is, of course, a fun staple of any adventure flick.  The movie is fast paced and doesn’t worry about cheating or glossing over any problems.  Whether it is welding a thousand ton farris wheel back together in two seconds, or not explaining anything about Latveria, they just keep moving.  The plot is pretty simple, but not so simple that you know exactly what is about to happen next.

Production still of Jessica Alba using her power. Note, I said Jessica Alba using her power not Sue Storm.

                The bad as a movie is simply the “oh, no you didn’t” type jokes.  Or the knowledge that there will be little to no real chance of any body dying.  One might complain about the lame “let’s get Jessica Alba naked again” thing but then if that person were male he might run the risk of having his manhood revoked.  The main movie gripe is a general lack of polish on much of the scenes.  But again it moves so fast you don’t even care.

EVERYONE LOOK OUT, ITS EURO-TRASH DOOM!!!

                The bad for the geek is endurable.  Dr. Doom is not Dr. Doom.  He’s not even Ultimate Doom.  He’s a jerk with little motivation.  But how can us Doom devotees really complain?  Marvel is constantly getting his character wrong.  The icon is there even if the lines of dialogue are stupid.  He is plenty evil and manipulative, and he gets enough of a reboot here at any future sequels have a chance of salvaging some of the glory that is Von Doom.  (Frankly, one has to notice that the first movie’s Doom is kinda of early Doom and the new armor is totally up to date—at least there is a visual connection).  Sue Storm doesn’t get a lot of intellectual screen time, which seems unfair.  Galactus is cloud; you’ll keep straining to see glowing eyes, but for not. Still, they could cheat their way out of that later.  The fantastic car would be awesome if not for the dodge endorsement. 
                The good for true believers is better than you think.  Surfer would make Kirby smile.  And this is the first real team-up movie.  Surfer isn’t some Electra; he’s a well known superhero and it is almost as much his movie as the FF.  Perhaps this will lead to more connectivity in the Marvel movies.  Wolverine vs. Spider-man anybody?  The Baxter building is pretty good, even got a big four on it.  Reed is well portrayed as being an egg-head too wrapped up in his inventions even to notice Jessica Alba.  Johnny and the Thing are boys, and they laid some ground work for the whole “Johnny steals Alicia” story line in the future.  And they got a little Super-Skrull action in there.  Now, Doom gets thrown into the ocean at the end and they mention the next mission has something to do with an island sinking into the sea.  Super-villain team-up in the future?  Doom manipulates Namor into a battle with the FF?  Probably not, because the rights Sub-Mariner are owned by Universal. 
                The fact is that other than a total mishandling of Doom, which is a cruel blow indeed, the FF movies taken as a whole are not bad—if you take them for what they are.  These movies are for kids, and these kids are getting to watch in awe and wonder at the FF.  Sure, it is flawed, but it is the Fantastic Four.  We asked and we received.  Maybe Hollywood could do better; maybe they could nail it.  But they are Hollywood—they’re morons!  That being considered, the newest FF movie is good enough.  Nuff said.