SPIDERMAN 3:
THE ULTIMATE REVIEW!!!

BY ADA JAZZY D

            Spider-man 1 and 2 were about the cost of being a hero.  The third film is more about living with that choice.  The film has trouble managing all the loose ends left from the first two and giving us a new story.  Ultimately, it gets the job done; having already tapped most of the emotional juice from the Spider-man mythology.  The first and second were great stories, but this one is a good Spider-man story. 
            But still, Spider-man rocks.
            Spider-man 3 is big and long.  There are two origin stories; three villains, four if you count venom as two; two quasi-threats to the MJ crown (like that would ever happen), and like five battle scenes.  The addition comes at the subtraction of the warmer, intimate moments the other films had.  Aunt May and MJ have to say their lines fast, which is weird because they made time for at least two music montages.  So the quantity is up but the quality is down.  Venom and Sandman aren’t classic Spidey villains and Spider-man is kind of doing the same thing is three movies—saving MJ. 
Boy meets girl (part 1), boy gets girl (part 2), then boy loses girl because he merged with a symbiote for outer space?  Most of the Baby Boomers are scratching their heads.  But still, Spider-man rocks.
            Let’s just go ahead and ruin the movie.  Spider-man screws up things with MJ, and then it gets worse because the symbiote gets on him.  Sandman is the guy that shot Uncle Ben and he’s out to get money for his sick daughter.  Harry Osborn forces MJ to break up with Peter, and Peter goes dark side.  Peter then kicks everyone’s butt including one Eddie Bock, Jr. at the Bugle.  Peter freaks out on MJ and tears the suit off.  Said suit goes on Brock, and Sandman and Brock snag MJ to lure Spidey in for the final show down.  Harry joins Spidey in an old fashion, team-up beat down.  They win; Harry dies.  If any of that is confusing to you, get up, go to Heroes and Villains with your head hung in shame and beg them to explain who the Beyonder is, but do not ask about the Clone Saga.  And—by the way—spoiler alert.

            This movie is about forgiveness.  Peter has to forgive himself for hurting MJ, and for hurting Harry.  Harry has to forgive Peter for killing his father.  MJ has to forgive Harry for forcing her to break up with Peter and Peter for hurting her.  Peter has to forgive MJ for leaving him, Harry for taking MJ, and Sandman for killing his Uncle.  Some how they manage to get all this forgiving done and even the Russian guy gives Peter a pass.  Everyone gets forgiven—except Brock who dies a violent death.  Truly though, if the price of being a hero is that with great power comes great responsibility, then the only way to live as a hero is to be able to forgive yourself and others.  Spider-man would self-destruct if he wasn’t the man Aunt May and MJ loved and he wouldn’t able to be that person if he was tainted by pride and revenge.  He’s not exactly powered by group hugs, but he has to have that optimism and hope to be the Spider-man we love.
The movie really starts when MJ breaks up with Peter (love the pie line).  From then on out the A story fleshes out and becomes about Harry, MJ, and Peter—just like in the beginning.  In the end, Harry saves Peter.  Come on, you got to like that!  Harry takes the glider horns right in the lungs saving Peter.  It so echoes Norman Osborn’s death (though Norm seemed to clearly take the impalement more near the loins for some odd reason).
Most people probably didn’t get that the ending to 2 was really a little sad.  MJ an across Manhattan on her wedding day and two seconds later Spidey’s chasing fire trucks.  Sure they love each other, but can it last?  That story and the dark Spidey story-line are tougher tales to tell then one and two.  So, you don’t get as many fist pumping moments (Like when MJ told Peter she loved him in number one and like a pimp he just walks away.  Every geek with an unrequited high school crush was cheering at that Han Solo move). 
So, what do you get?

1. Spider-man:  Web-balls, acrobatics, hardcore fighting, but a little light on the spidey-sense.  He still rocks.
2. Harry Osborn:  Pretty great.  Good gadgets and fights.  Wish he had put the goblin mask on.  Team-up action is cool.
3. Sandman:  Seemed way more powerful than in the comics, his story is gasping for screen time among all the other stuff, his motivation for fighting Spider-man kind of glossed over.  Not good, but not terrible.
4. Venom:  Not quiet the brain eating monster of the comics, Venom is pretty good.  Peter manages to fight Venom with sound in a way that is still visually fun.  Character is kind of rushed, and Brock certainly got the short end of the stick, very little explanation of the symbiote.  Lord knows why they chose to keep the space origin—and if you’re going to keep the space origin, why not tie in Jonas Jameson’s son like they did in the 90s cartoon?
5. MJ:  Little whiney; little inactive.
6. Peter:  Pretty good.  Some of the lines felt phoned in, but mostly good.
7. Dark Peter:  Apparently Dark Peter is still Peter because he really doesn’t get much worse than being “that guy.”  He immediately heads for the bell tower when he crosses the line.  It is very funny.  In the comics he had months sleep-walk and beat criminals senseless and be much more dangerous, but kids are going to see this movie so, whatever.  Fair to middling.

            All in all, not bad, but not Casablanca either.  They have to open up the universe.  They have to crossover with FF and King Pin and the X-men.  If the next one is the Vulture and Electro vs. Spider-man with MJ in peril, again, the ride will be over.  Critics and fans sometimes want every comic movie to be a Spider-man 1 or they get mad, but not every story line or character from the mythology is equal.  What they do next with Spider-man movie may be genius or folly for the entire franchise.  This one is neither.  It is at least as good as X-Men 3, though slightly harder to follow.

            But still, Spider-man rocks.