STARS AND SKULLS

by ADA Jazzy D

     Captain America is not Captain America.  Cap is a super-soldier, summed up with a smashing right-cross to Hitler’s jaw.  But recently Cap keeps doing stuff that makes little sense for his character. There’s no need to rail against the CW or point out how Cap keeps adopting liberal/pacifist political views at the drop of a hat.  Let’s just lay out who Cap is really. Cap is basically three things: 

1) a super soldier
2) the personification of American patriotism
3) the indomitable man. 

    Cap is big player, and he’s the best of the best, though nowhere near the most powerful.  But, once again, the Ultimate universe gets the character right.  Ultimate Cap is a soldier first and foremost.  Soldier—as in military, not some lone gunman—soldiers fight wars to defend their country. 

THIS IS USUALLY WHAT HAPPENS TO BAD GUYS WHO CROSS FRANK'S PATH!

     The Punisher is a not Captain America.  Punisher is an odd character, though a good one.  A sort-of serial killer of criminals, he is a super assassin, and he’s fun as he methodically wipes out criminals, mostly organized crime types.  Here’s a character that has almost no recurring villains because he kills them all.  Actually, CW was the when Punisher started killing super-villains in earnest.  Recently he blew up a bar with a bunch of super-villains inside, which makes sense for the character—I mean why hasn’t he killed Magneto or Red Skull?  But regardless Punisher is a character for revenge stories and bloodbaths.  Even Wolverine has been on the X-men and the New Avengers, but the Punisher seems a simpler character.
Well, now they got the Punisher in some pseudo-Captain America costume.  In the past, there was a “What If” where Punisher became Cap, but the idea is stupid.  In CW some character spouted out, “same man, different war.” 
Nope. Wrong. Try again.

THE LANDMARK ISSUE #25 OF CAPTAIN AMERICA

     Supposedly, Cap is dead.  Supposedly, Punisher is going to throw on his new getup fighting the Hatemonger.  At the end of CW, the Punisher did a Shanter on the fallen mask of Cap.  So, naturally he’s going to become Captain America.  Only, he’s not going to be Captain America because Captain America isn’t Captain America.  Cap died after fomenting rebellion and then quiting right in the middle of the final battle (of course, how he was going to ever beat the government I have no clue).  So, what’s the banner Punisher is going take up?
     He can’t be our super-soldier because one, he is not super, and two, he isn’t going to be working for the American people.  Lord knows, Marvel can’t have the Punisher go after Islamic terrorists.  Punisher isn’t patriotic; he is an outsider, a cynical extremist.

ONE OF THE EARLIEST PUNISHER CROSSOVERS WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA BEAUTIFULLY RENDERED BY FRANK MIILLER AND BOB MCLEOD

     Now you have to admit that Punisher is a indomitable man.  But he lacks nobility.   He’s more like a villain than a hero.  His fights are about the guilty, not the innocent. Punisher doesn’t protect, he doesn’t even fight; he hunts. However, one can see a way that this works.  If Punisher is going to start in killing super-villains we’ve heard of, then in a way, it makes sense he’d freak out and don some kind of tribute costume.  Plus, Cap was fighting for the right to throw a mask on a run around fighting super-villains whenever the urge over came a person.  What is the Punisher, but the most extreme version of this idea?  So, he puts on a costume that shouts “Cap was right, and what’s more let’s kill a bunch of people.” 

THE CURRENT THUNDERBOLTS FEATURE NOT REFORMED VILLAINS BUT RATHER VILLAINS UNDER THE CONTROL OF NORMAN OSBORN WORKING FOR THE US GOVERNMENT. GREAT, JUST WHAT WE NEED BULLSEYE, THE GREEN GOBLIN, AND VENOM PROTECTING OUR FREEDOMS.

     Of course, the Punisher draws some odd lines.  I mean if he kills criminals how about the Thunderbolts?  Doesn’t he think Tony Stark and Reed Richards essentially murdered Goliath?  Really, the Punisher kind of conveniently picks and chooses who he considers a target or his level of bloodlust.  He’s torturing and killing criminals one minute, but then switching to stealing a painting from Doctor Doom or changing over to rubber bullets when he teams-up or even trying to join the rebellion in CW (how does that make any sense for a murderous loner?).  And what about Cap, doesn’t Cap betray the cause and stop the war—and Punisher took a beating from Cap, only to have him pack it in?  Maybe Punisher is the shooter? 
     How about Iron Man, he’s not going to like the message that costume sends one bit.  And what’s Logan going to say when he sees Castle in that gear?  If he’s anything like most readers he’ll probably say, “yuck.”